


Beached

by gallifreyanlibertea



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Fuckboy!Alfred, Lifeguard!Alfred, M/M, Merman!Arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 19:28:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11191836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallifreyanlibertea/pseuds/gallifreyanlibertea
Summary: Being a lifeguard was easily one of the best things to happen to Alfred. He'd seen many things on the job- people flaunting themselves for a chance to be his next treat, women pretending to drown to gain his attention... He thought he'd seen it all. That is, of course, until a certain lazy afternoon.





	Beached

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bluekujira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluekujira/gifts).



> Happy Birthday, Blue!

Alfred caught his first boyfriend when he was seventeen.

The tide had been turbulent that evening and Alfred had seen a guy thrashing in the waters, head bobbing above the waves before going back under, screaming all the way through.

Never mind that he was on the shallow end of the ocean. Alfred was there to save him, jumping off his stand to sprint across the beach and throw himself into the water, dragging the gasping man back onto the sand. After he’d coughed up the ocean, he’d given Alfred his number, and it was then he swore to himself being a lifeguard was the best thing that would ever happen to him.

The pay was less than ideal, yes, but the worship made up for it. Half the beach would congregate around his chair, flaunting themselves for a chance to be his next treat. It was mostly perks, to say the least.

Which is why Alfred rolled out of bed today when he could’ve been sleeping his summer away. It was his turn to claim the afternoon shift, and he did so with a sigh, falling into the familiar routine of lathering on sunscreen, slipping into his shorts and spending ten minutes in front of the mirror to pick which sunglasses he was in the mood for that day.

Beauty was hardly effortless. 

Besides, the lady he’d saved from being ‘sucked into the ocean’ from the shore- a ruse many had used on him from time to time, and a ruse he let himself believe when he found that it benefitted him the most- was going to meet him after his shift today. Lucky for him, weekday afternoon timings were hardly busy, which meant, maybe, possibly, _most probably_ , a romp in the sand.

A romp on top of a towel, actually, he wasn’t about to let himself make that mistake twice.

Alfred stepped out onto the beach with a smile that melted as soon as his boss hollered, “No cell phones, Al!”, through the crummy window of his beat-down tiki bar.

He stepped out closer to the shore, sitting in his lifeguard chair with a grunt.

It was silly, actually. There was something of a no-checking-your-phones rule, partially because his boss seemed to have it out for him and mostly because he wouldn’t be able to see a potential drown-er if he was too busy checking his Snapchat. He could full well be updating his Instagram with an effortless beach selfie, right this second.

Or perhaps a photo of the waves with a filter slapped on, a thought provoking quote as a caption.

It was unfair, keeping him from doing the things his generation loved the most. It had to be a crime, ageism of some sort. He would argue with his boss later.

On the other hand, he had to admit it. Had it not been for the rule, Alfred might not have noticed all the good things about an empty beach in the afternoon, like the waves crashing softly against the shore. The way the sunlight danced on the water, his skin tingling in the heat. The wicked tan that would soon come to replace his current, slightly less wicked tan.

And more importantly, the serious bedroom eyes the guy beside him was serving.

It was a travesty, Alfred couldn’t assess what hid behind the giant bulky rock that covered most of the man’s body from his view. In fact, before today, he had no complaint about the thing- his boss tried to get it removed more than once, but it refused to budge, and Alfred was fine with it as long as it brought cute ‘aspiring photographers’ to the beach for their tacky photo ops.

So at the moment, Alfred was stuck having to settle for a clear view of the guy’s chest and above. The way those green eyes were practically fluttering in his direction.

Alfred couldn’t say he wasn’t used to the attention, but men hardly ever put themselves out like that and he had to say, it was a shame. They really should.

“Hey, there.” He offered, but received no response. The stranger instead propped himself onto his side with a coquettish smile.

Alfred’s next move consisted of pulling down his sunglasses for a quick wink, to which the stranger replied with an almost bashful bite of his lip, and to Alfred’s further delight, a welcoming crook of his finger.

Say no more.

It didn’t matter that from what he could see, the man looked a tad bit sunburnt, or that his blonde hair seemed disheveled. It was a sexy kind of unkempt and Alfred was all for it, leading to him practically scrambling out of his chair to try his luck with the guy.

After all, the beach was more or less empty. No one would miss him for a while.

“You _can_ talk, can’t you?” He chuckled, patting the rock as he knelt on the other side of it, watching as big green eyes blinked at him idly for a moment.

The man broke out into a grin, “Ah, I’ve still got it.”

“What?”

Another small shift towards the stranger answered all his questions, and additionally, sent him scrambling backward with an embarrassingly audible squeak.

“What the fuck, dude?”

The guy was a fish.

An actual, factual fish, with those slim, creamy pale hips melting into a long fish bottom. A green tail, a blueish tint, with a brilliant sheen that glittered under the light of the sun, like tiny emeralds crafted into scales, all of which seemed tangled into what looked like a net.

“No, no! Come back!” A British fish, at that, but Alfred was already poised to run for his life the very moment he remembered how to use his legs. “Please, I need your help!”

“Dude, you’re a fish.”

“I’m a merman.” He shifted his position so that he was on his stomach, propped up on his elbows, blinking innocently in Alfred’s direction. “And I’ll die soon without your help, please.”

And Alfred paused, brows pulled together in suspicious contemplation. “This is a joke.”

“No, this isn’t a joke, I-”

“What are you, like, a YouTuber or something? Because mermaids stopped being funny last year.”

“No, I-”

“Mermaids can’t even speak English, they’re like… yanno, how aliens don’t speak English? It’s like that.” Alfred pointed out, because it was true, and if someone was pranking him, they really should’ve done their research. “Real funny, jerk.”

“It’s typical of you sailors to take from merpeople. To think you bumbling lot invented the language, _hah_.” The guy grumbled before blinking up at Alfred, “You _are_ a sailor, yes? When did you all stop wearing clothes- why are your bifocals so black?”

“Cut it out, man.” Alfred sighed, casting a glance around the beach before turning to look back down at the ‘merman’. 

YouTube prankster or not, the guy was smokin’ and the beach was empty. 

“Truce, okay? You’re hot, I’m hot, and this-” He gestured to the tail, to what appeared to be slight gills along that slender neck, to the makeshift clam necklace resting on that flushed chest. “-is clearly not working. So… how about we try something that’ll definitely be more fun for the both of us?”

When the stranger didn’t seem to understand, Alfred clarified with a wink, “If you catch my drift.”

“Very well, take off my costume.”

The merman rolled over. It was quite an act- the slight wince in those features as he shifted his ‘tail’ in the net, elbows propped up behind him as he put a slight arch in his back. 

“Freaky… out here?” Alfred whispered with a laugh, but an offer was an offer.

He shifted closer to press a warm palm against that flat, strangely cold stomach, drawing a soft gasp from the guy’s lips. Inching lower, lower, maintaining firm eye contact that most others would’ve shied away from but strangely, green eyes remained adamant to hold. Alfred tucked his fingers under the flap of the tail with a smirk.

Except there wasn’t a flap, nor was there a smirk.

“You’re actually a fish.”

“Merman. Stop touching me.”

Alfred snatched his hand back like he’d taken it from a flame, “And you’re going to die without my help.”

“Most definitely.”

On one hand, whatever someone could say about his lack of understanding the responsibility of his job, it was Alfred’s duty to protect anyone who needed protecting on the beach, even if they were only half human.

Whereas on the other hand, _the guy was half human._  It could be some sort of trick, and he could get dragged into the ocean and killed, or eaten. 

“Please, it’s not much to do.” The fish pressed, and suddenly the decision wasn’t all that hard. Alfred was caught in those big green eyes, and those long, dark lashes, freckles splashed across those cheeks, plump coral lips parting to-

It was a spell. It had to be magic, because now, the guy before him seemed a bit duller, and those lips, if anything, were slightly chapped.

“Woah, what-”

“To top it off, my power’s wearing out.” The merman hissed, falling backward into the sand and exclaiming between grit teeth, “Oh, Neptune.”

“You should teach me that shit, man.”

Through the stranger’s personal misery, he managed to shoot Alfred a withering look. “I don’t have time for your jokes, boy, fetch me some water.”

And an order was an order, despite the fact that there was no magic to make him do it.

Alfred slunk back to his chair.

He’d developed the habit of bringing things with him to help him through his shifts. It was a typical red backpack full of the essentials- some chips he would eat when hot people weren’t looking at him, an apple he would eat when hot people _were_ looking at him, a bottle of water, a few other things, and for more recent purposes, a giant beach towel to fight off the possibility of sand in all his crevices.

Which he would most probably not be using if his new fishy friend had anything to say about it.

Alfred cast a few looks around him. To his relief, the beach was as empty as it was before his life took a spinning dive.

“I could like, poke a hole in the lid and spray you with the water if you want.”

“Don’t be daft, I’m just thirsty.” The creature watched with curious eyes as Alfred unzipped his bag, handing him a plastic water bottle, “What am I to do with this… Contraption?”

A possibly ancient, magical aquatic creature, and Alfred’s water bottle was the weird thing.

He smirked, “You open the lid and drink from it, like this.”

He was never one to turn down the opportunity to amaze. The creature watched with awe as he twisted the cap open, tilting it to his lips for a small sip.

“Your turn.” There was no way fishboy could sit up proper enough to drink the water all on his own. Alfred wasn’t sure how his body worked, whether it could bend that way or if the tail in the net kept him from sitting up, but when the merman propped himself back up and those lips parted expectantly, Alfred couldn’t help being thrown off for a bit before remembering the bottle in his hands.

If he pretended not to notice the tail, or, if Alfred could find some way to do it- he was pretty damn sure he would hit that.

“I haven’t got forever, human.”

“Right, open up.” He pressed the bottle’s opening to that plump lower lip and watched as relatively cool water trickled out into the creature’s mouth. The merman gulped it down erratically, almost desperately, and Alfred really took the time to assess what was before him.

An obviously beached fish.

He could now see the slight dull glaze on the tail, that smooth, pale skin beginning to take on a red hue, the chapped lips, they were clear indicators.

The stranger pulled away from the stream and arched his back as if to let the water run down his sore, sunburnt chest, tilting his head back with a satisfied sigh.

Alfred swallowed around the lump in his throat and took it as a cue to drizzle the water over the parched body before him, ignoring the heat in his cheeks because _there was no fucking way he found anything erotic about a fish._

“I’m Alfred, by the way, wh- uh, what do I call you?” He said as he tucked the empty bottle back into his bag.

“My name is-” Alfred, who thought nothing else could ever surprise him, let his jaw hang as the creature made what sounded like clicking noises, and something else mixed in, possibly the call of an aquatic animal. “I suppose, anglicized, it would be Arthur.”

“Okay. I’ll stick with Arthur, and I’m assuming that net isn’t very comfortable for you.”

Arthur watched with brows furrowed as Alfred’s hands hovered toward his tail, slowly, gently, like a hand reaching to pet an upset animal.

The first contact with the surprisingly smooth scales seemed to startle Arthur because he flinched. “You humans throw so many things into the water, you know? This net could’ve choked me to death.”

Alfred rolled his eyes, smoothing his hands over the scales, searching for an opening. 

There was one toward the end fins. Arthur couldn’t possibly have reached it on his own. Alfred scooted down, gingerly tugging at the net until it shook free. He hooked his arm underneath the tail and lifted it with a grunt, sliding the coarse lump of wire and rope out from below.  

“Thank you.” Arthur flexed his fins with a slight whine, “They’re rather dry, I’ve been here since last night.”

“Let’s get you back into the water, then.”

Green eyes widened, “No!”

Okay.

Fearing a possible magical beat-down, “What do you… um, what do you want, then?”

That was how Alfred found himself digging a pit under the hot, hot sun, with a mystical aquatic mer-creature propped up and goading him on from under an umbrella, sucking on a popsicle Alfred had stolen from the tiki stand.

Arthur had decided to wear his sunglasses too because the ‘black bifocals’ could help shield his _poor, distressed, fatigued_ eyes from the sun. Like Alfred’s eyes didn’t need shielding either.

So to put it in simpler words, Alfred was Arthur’s bitch now.

And the cherry on top, the way Arthur was sucking that popsicle was too reminiscent of one of Alfred’s escapades earlier that week. A little too much for him not to be a bright shade of red, and to completely focus on the task at hand.

“Arthur, could you not do that?”

“Do what?” Arthur replied innocently as he paused deep-throating his popsicle, “I really must thank you for this, you’re doing a wonderful job keeping me cool, human.”

He resumed licking his treat, sucking on the tip. With a pleased sigh, he went as far as lightly bobbing his head, thrusting it into his mouth in an even, shallow rhythm as he let his tongue lap at the underside.

Alfred stared at him. “Dude.”

“Why did you stop?” Arthur snapped, tail twitching in mild annoyance. The blue-raspberry had begun to drip from the popsicle, running in small streams down the merman’s arm. He bent his head to drag his pink tongue across the skin, scooping it back up.

Alfred swallowed. He went back to digging his pit.

The plan was to get it deep enough to fit Arthur. Alfred would then be saddled with the task to fill the sandy pit with water, all the while tossing a cautionary eye out for other human beings.

Arthur wasn’t making the task any easier. “Ah, yes, I’ve forgotten you humans’ strange ways of correlating innocent objects to sexual organs.”

“Yeah?” Alfred replied with a grunt as he finished scooping one last handful of sand behind him, “Welcome to humanity.”

Arthur hummed in response.

“We’re close to the shore, I can carve out a tunnel to the waves to help fill this up.”

When Alfred received not one encouraging response, he set to work.

He had no idea why he agreed to all of this. How much time did it take to get back into his chair and pretend not to notice the frankly rude and inconsiderate merman behind the rock? It was certainly less time than it took to save him, and certainly less energy than it took to dig tunnels without, as Alfred snidely made a mental note of, one word of thanks, and under the broiling afternoon sun too.

Which reminded him, “Hey, check my bag for some aloe gel, you look kinda burnt.”

Arthur blinked in response, “Erm, how do I do that exactly?”

“Pull on the zipper.”

“The what?”

Alfred dragged his foot through the sand, watching as the water from a wave followed behind on the beach’s natural slope. It wasn’t much and it soaked up rather quick, but he managed to pave the way for the new waves in no time, etching the sand tunnel into the pit. “The metal bit, just pull it.”

Arthur pulled on the zipper quite literally, tugging at it helplessly until Alfred stomped over and did it himself, pulling out an emergency bottle of aloe he kept in case some rather appealing individuals complained of a sunburn.

Well, the case wasn’t too off.

“This is for your skin, to keep it from hurting from the sun,” Alfred said slowly as he uncapped the bottle, squirting a pile onto his palm. “May I?”

Arthur offered him his arm.

“You humans are quite the innovators.” He mused as Alfred toiled over him, smoothing the cool gel over his arm as gingerly as he could.

“We kinda have to be, it’s not easy living under the sun, yanno?” Alfred moved to the other arm.

“It’s difficult underwater too, I’ll have you know. There are a lot of predators down there.”

“Is that why you won’t go back in?”

Alfred hesitantly gestured to Arthur’s chest, to which the merman responded with a roll of his eyes, offering himself to Alfred’s hand with an arch of his back.

“I’m running away.” Arthur hissed at the feeling of the cool gel on his tender, sunburnt skin. “I just happened to be caught in a net and dragged onto shore, and I thought I could claw my way towards shade and wait for a human to help.”

Arthur’s skin was silken under his fingertips, smooth and cool, like one would expect a creature of seduction to feel like.

“That’s not a very good plan.”

“This feels nice.” Arthur set his sunglasses aside with another flutter of those dark lashes as he held Alfred’s gaze. There was just something about him- despite the strangely thick, dark brows that framed his face, despite his lack of anything more than a torso, and despite the fact Arthur claimed his magic had declined, Alfred could’ve sworn he was under some spell.

“I- um, I think the pit’s filled enough, let’s get you in there.”

Arthur let himself be pulled up into Alfred’s arms and lowered into the saline pool. It was an almost immediate change in character. A happy twitch of his fins and a small genuine smile.

The merman nipped at his popsicle. “This feels nice as well.”

Alfred moved to the back, lathering more aloe into his skin, “Why did you run away?”

Arthur leaned back into Alfred’s touch, tilting his head back with a lazy smile. It left Alfred reminding himself, for what felt like the hundredth time within the span of the hour, that _what was before him was a fish, it was just a fishdude and Alfred shouldn’t be feeling this way._

“My father wanted to give me to the sleazy King of the Pacific.”

Alfred blinked. “Like, make you… marry him?”

“I can’t go back, Alfred, you understand this, yes?”

Alfred capped the aloe bottle and slipped it back into his bag. “I mean, you can’t stay in this pit forever.”

A cool hand on Alfred’s arm and Alfred watched as Arthur turned to look at him, lips twitching into a smile.

And Alfred smirked back, on the brink of losing himself again in those bright eyes.

“That’s why you’ll be taking me to the Indian Ocean.”

Alfred didn’t hear that.

He couldn’t have heard it, impossible, no, because Alfred was on a beach in the Southern U.S., on a minimum wage lifeguarding job, and Arthur was a _merman,_ and Alfred _could not_ , no, _was not_ going to fly him tens of thousands of miles away to the Indian Ocean.

He probably said all of this out loud.

“Alfred!” Arthur practically whined, gripping Alfred’s bicep with a strength Alfred had no idea Arthur possessed, “My father owns the Atlantic, the Pacific is out for me, I have a friend, Bharat, who’s willing to keep me safe in there and you have to do this.”

“I literally can’t take you to the Indian ocean.”

Arthur pouted and Alfred ran through it all again. He was a merman, _a fish_ , and a ticket to India was at least a few hundred dollars, and Alfred just met him, and _he should not be wanting to spend all his savings on him, this was insane!_

Congrats to Arthur because his magic was definitely back. There was no other way Alfred could be considering helping the guy, because that would be insane.

“Hey.”

Arthur folded his arms, “What?”

“Can you tell me, for super, super certain, that you are not using that magic stuff right now.”

“It stopped working, so no.”

Alfred pulled out the giant beach towel and soaked it in the pit.

Alright, new plan, there was no magic, there was no deceit, Arthur was a genuine damsel in distress and it was somehow better than the romp in the sand he’d been waiting for. So Alfred scooped Arthur up, wrapping his damp beach towel around Arthur’s tail and holding him to his chest closer than he would’ve ever let a human-animal hybrid creature be near him before today.

This was his new plan. Arthur wasn’t using magic, and if somehow, despite that, Alfred still wanted to help the merman- if somehow, the weird, fluttering pressure in his chest wasn’t because of a spell or the shameless prospect of sex in the sand- it had to mean something beyond Alfred’s comprehension.

“Alfred, what’re you-?”

“I’m taking you home… and that’s as far as the current plan goes.”

“Marvellous!”

Arthur practically squealed, throwing his arms around Alfred’s neck, nuzzling into his chest with the affection of a newly adopted pet. “Do humans still have tubs? It would be perfectly charming to stay in one, I wouldn’t mind it at all. Human food must be different as well, this is all so exciting, I-”

Alfred eased Arthur back into the pool. “Funny story, I get out of work in like, two hours, totally forgot about that.”

He knelt to wrap the towel around Arthur’s shoulders, watching with a triumphant smile as the merman curled into the makeshift blanket, “But I, I will definitely help you out, fishboy.”

“And I,” Green eyes met blue, and an impish smile spread across those cheeks that served to set Alfred on fire despite the slightly chapped lips that served them. “I will definitely be sure to reward you, human.”

Whatever that entailed from a merman, Alfred was ready for it. Although his bathtub wasn’t the Indian ocean, he was pretty damn sure the King of the Atlantic ocean wouldn’t snatch Arthur away, so that was that, consider him saved.

Now.

Now, Alfred was fairly certain that nothing in the world could surprise him.

“Wait, hold up, Arthur, what did you say something about merpeople creating the English language?”


End file.
